Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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