A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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