Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
