i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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