How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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