Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize