I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
