i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
