you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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