What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize