the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize