How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
