The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
