it wasn't lemon gatorade
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
