Duck Duck Cougar?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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