found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
