If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
