Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
