I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize