i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
what day is it and did you see me today?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
