Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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