He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
