Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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