so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
