yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
