She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
