i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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