His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
how drunk are you?
Several
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
