Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
