there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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