she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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