There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize