"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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