Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
