Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
