He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
