It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
