How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize