I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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