I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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