If that was your dad, he is hot
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Come see our sink grown plant.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
