Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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