no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
