this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Randomize
