He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
