I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
