So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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