Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
