and she was petting her beer can
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I am available for nakedness
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
