Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
