Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
