i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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