I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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