Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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