so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I need moral support for this bender
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those š
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote āColleenās Dickāwith a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
