I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
