OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just pee around me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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