Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
