Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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